Summer Starts Letter

Dear M,

I almost wrote this morning, but I ran out of time. I had the dream I know I will have again. It woke me from a sound sleep. I was so excited when I awoke, just for a moment. You see, I dreamt you were coming home from a long trip.There were many long trips and homecomings in our 18 years of marriage. I was always unsettled by the travel. It reminded me of our impermanence. You were our joy bringer, our scheduler of fun. It was a big job. I never acknowledged it or thanked you for it. So Thank you. It is a hard job. I have planned a decent summer for both kids. I know that because Butter is already complaining that I over scheduled him. He had no schedule on the first two days of summer. By the second day of summer break I had already misplaced him. I called home at lunchtime and talked to imac. He said he didn’t know where Butter was, somebody’s mom had picked him up but he didn’t know who. Butter had left his phone at home.  I quickly deduced which mom had picked him up, texted her and confirmed his location. Growing up, we could never keep track of my brother Johnny Reb. Pre-cell phone era we usually just drove around the neighborhoods until we found him shooting hoops in a friend’s driveway.

It was Memorial Day weekend and I remembered the long hike we took from Arlington to Reston on the Washington and Old Dominion trail. I remember hearing rolling thunder go by while we walked. 

I cried on my way to work today, then pulled it together on the elevator for a day of anemia, clots and hemophilia. So wishing I could have brought Murphy to work with me today. I hope that you are proud of me. I am not functioning on all cylinders yet, but maybe 4 out of 8. I feel like I have my skin on inside out. I am able to fool most civilians most of the time. It takes a lot of energy. There doesn’t tend to be much leftover.

Sorry for rambling, but you know, that’s just me.
Love you lots,